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Boy 1- What's your favourite food?
Boy 1 and 2- Soooo not food!!!!
Girl-Oh yeah it is!
Boy 2- So when's free slurpee day?

Girl walking and talking to another girl-So I have big boobs and gonorrhea!!!!!

Me-So we've got a girl.
Jui-So then where is the penis?
Me-....we have a girl.....

Jui freaks out over seeing the pig cut open
Mrs. Pence- And you are going to med school?
Jui- I have seen a human body like this and I didn't freak out!!!
Me- This is so cool that all four of us are vegetarians!
Jui- Maybe that's why I am freaking out, because I don't eat pigs.
Vish and I-But you eat humans??????


Ugly girl: You think I'm interested in someone else?
Ugly boyfriend: No, I think someone else is interested in you, and that you like it.
Passerby: Doubt that.

Supersenior: Hey, do you still smoke cigarettes?
Sophomore: No, I only smoke weed since rehab.
Supersenior: Where the HELL can I get cigarettes?
Bus driver (only hearing hell): Hey, we don't say that word. We say "heck."

And then I heard my bus driver chatting along merrily with a preggo girl about pregnancy and how she and his wife are only a few weeks apart. Not so much funny as surreal on the whole.
Girl talking to another girl about a phone conversation she had with a guy-...and he said, "Take a picture next time you're driving."  And I was like, "Uhh, why????"  And he said, "Because you suck at Piddidle!"


Girl 1- I dumped him on sweetest day! Haha, it was awesome! He had no idea it was coming!
Girl 2- He still talks about that you know....


Gym Teacher actually talking about a student- Where is wonton soup?
Guy in hallway-- Only weirdos change the world, but not all weirdos change the world.

Gym teacher to Mike Royer- Pink socks? Pink socks man?!  Why are you wearing pink fuzzy socks! You are a man!!!!! 
Mike-  It's not like the colours of socks are segregated to people! They're warm!
Gym Teacher- Never wear those socks in here again!!!!!!!!

Gym teacher ten minutes later to another kid- ....yeah, okay dunkalicious.

Mike later in class talking to another kid- Yeah man, I love every thing.  All kinds of music. Sports.  Soccer is awesome man. I love it all. I love singing, dancing, the whole shebang. I love God.

Girl to friend- ...Yeah. She blocked me on facebook, myspace, livejournal and aim! There is nothing left to block me on!

Bad to the bone.

This was a while ago but:

(before first hour, in Plymouth)

Girl-- I kind of want to be bad today.

Different girl about thirty seconds later, around a different corner-- I have 2 more minutes to be bad.

those emo kids...

[slightly overweight emo boy to tiny emo girl]: so, emo kids are all really little with really long legs. and 86.9% of their blood is in their legs, but their belts cut off circulation. so they don't have 86.9% of their blood. that's what makes them emo.
[canton language/math hall. note the kids standing in front of the spanish classroom door. there is a sign that reads "Classes in Computer Lab 2 1/18/07" A kid jiggles the handle to try and open it]

kid loitering around the door: "where the hell is she?"